It makes me think

I was flipping through blogs (I like to do that in my spare time other people fascinate me) and I came across one about contentment. It makes me think. I shouldn't be playing "What if..." that game won't get me anywhere. I need realize that I am where I am supposed to be at this time. God has planned for me to be here, right now in the moment in time and I have to accept it. He has a plan for me and that he will use me in the exact spot he wants me. He surrounds me with people who are there to build me up and make me stronger, he has even brought people back into my life that I didn't every think would be there. It has been amazing to see how a few years has made such a dramatic change. It is a big step for me to put things out there and be "There you go God, this is me, this is what I have to offer and I am gonna let you do with it as you will. Give me the strength to realize that everything has happened for a reason and that you know what you want to do with me." I am not perfect there are things that I am going to want to control and hold on to tight and not give up but I want to see what life would be like with me not stressing about every little thing, giving it up and taking the weight off my shoulders. I wish that I was strong enough to be able to say this all out loud, I have so much to say but I am afraid of what people will think and if they will take me seriously or just think I am up there for show. Writing is cathartic for me, it allows me to express my feelings without having to be worried how others feel. Singing is the same way, when I sing I feel like nothing can phase me. In Fuel there are times when I feel completely at peace, I don't care if I don't sing the right note (If you know me, you know that is a big deal). I want to have a way to carry that faith and joy through out the week all the time. Well, I am gonna make the step and try be content with where I am in life and try to put all my worries no matter how small in the hands of someone who can make even the biggest problems seem like they are insignificant.